honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize