I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
