I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize