U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
