why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
