Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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