Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i would punch a child for taco bell
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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