Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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