Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
