Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
