we have officially lost it.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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