Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
