I wish I only lived at night.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
