That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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