were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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