Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
