I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
