Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
