According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
