I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
MIDGETS
????
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
