how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize