You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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