I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
