don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You made out with two different species that night
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize