even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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