Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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