he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
