did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
