I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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