just come out here and I will go home with you...
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
