did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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