i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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