i would punch a child for taco bell
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
