It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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