Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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