is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize