Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
