Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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