i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i love accidental penises.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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