i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
