The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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