i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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