Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
