Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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