I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
