ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I understand Curling. That high.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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