I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
