I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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