I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize