If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
