Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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