I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
