i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
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