how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
