You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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