OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
