I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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