Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
