dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize