i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
