so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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