thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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