I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We're too hungover to prance.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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