Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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