this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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