I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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