shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
