She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
