Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
they're like a gay fantastic four
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
