Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
