Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
