you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
