based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
