then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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