his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
