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Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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