I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
thus making me awesome and them whores
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
