Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Boobs speak an international language.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
