dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
