is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
